READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
