Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
