Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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