Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
