When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
my poor anus
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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