I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
