I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
