I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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