he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
