Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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