i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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