Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
