this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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