I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
