I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
