OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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