My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
