Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
love makes seman taste better
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
