When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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