in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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