i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
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