I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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