i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
