I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
