Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
