i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Randomize
