You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
