I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
