i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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