Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
