that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
