Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
