You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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