ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
