Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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