What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
