Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
