My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
