His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
