i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
