what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
