Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Randomize
