help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
