you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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