i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We need to get me chipped asap
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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