Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
