Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
