Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
