You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
