there's paper in my vomit.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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