That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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