i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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