she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
