I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
